doesn't matter..

How about that... my days are coming up...
No.. certainly I'm not going to die.. of course..
Birthday.. heh..
Happy? - How to.. currently right now having this epidemic that was handed over by Old Man..(hehe.. yup Khai )

just another same name guy in class.. older than me that is..

so what am I going to do next 7 days.. ?

I've tried to gather my "troops" to watch the Singapore/Jordan game next week...

as expected and usual case... busy with their own stuff...

21... a common number yet its impact of having a good decent "celebration" is always a tradition for a person experiencing that age...

Mine? Certainly wouldn't be a grand one like Obama's Inauguration..

Surprises? Never had one before... if there is to be one... certainly it will be a tears-dropping moment for me..

I just can't stop reminicsing those words ... that words 4 weeks ago that was mentioned... its still running around the mind.. those alphabets that spell out that persons name... yea..

shuffling.
oh yes... nowadays I like to shuffle.. watched Jacko's clip during his god-like status... he's really a great performer... and also watched alot of shuffling videos... took up the "HOW TO SHUFFLE" class also ! heh.

I'm getting to be an all rounder... listening to every genre... with the latest "stick stickly" by Attack Attack! - thanks to Farhan for this recommendation...

its basically.. Screamo-Electro-Techno Band .. yea.. experimental material.


Finally to end things up...

My speech writing test - 68 marks.

that shows how crap my english and structure of my work.

So much of improving..
Nevermind, try harder.





That will be all.
Dismissed.



-khai-

harder than you know..

I wonder and asked..

why?what?how?when?Where?

..... it will happen..


not loving you is harder than you know...

Distraction... kill memory.

Aging soon...
so time to think wisely..



That will be all.
Dismissed.



-Khai-

It should be me..

After 2 weeks of confinement...
My brother came back home for the first time while on National Service..
I should be the one who actually has to go first...
but its the other way round...
I'm chasing a common cert like any other 9ooo kids around in the polytechnics...
somehow I don't like this course ... really..
its so shit till it loose my interest in it...
but no i'm not giving up that easily like you fuckin freaks out there..
somehow i manage to scrap through electronics test.. with my classmates reaching their marks on average 75...
I somehow to be among the lowest... on those who passed that is...
Indeed.. compare...
They don't know me.. I know I can be better than them..
From there respect will i gain...
Right now.. no.
The class thinks I'm a fuckin comedy prick..


I want to prove it wrong..
I know I can..
With my effort, if god wills..


That will be all.
Dismissed.




-Khai-

If not it will be..

If things to were to be as normal...
13th marks the spot of the anniversary..
but no it didn't it turn out to be crap..
why am i still doing all these..?
I gave advice to people...
Mention the do and the don'ts..
Yet still im the fuckin same...
Weak to humans that once was with me...
Missing feeling to someone... don't take it too much.. its just playing..
Gambled for awhile.. text on that day..
but eventually didn't reply..
Its either or...
But it went "or"...
Risked it and no outcome...
Forget about me does she?
Perhaps.. I think so..
Who the hell I am... right now...
tch.. - nothing to be proud of...

Time to clench you're fist,khai..
look up ahead... the road is still long..
Time to run...burst your speed and push forward..
Rose of Pain... leaving them behind.







That will be all.
Dismissed.



-Khai-

Bloody Sunday

Considered as one of those greatful days in my life...why?
Before that first things first...

PART ONE


Instead of sleeping early after reaching home about 1250am from work and also watching Arsenal's game which was a very late win in the end, I decide to sneak and play the PS3 .. what else? FIFA 09 ar... haha.. yes till like.. 4 am?

had a very err.. "good" another 4 hours of sleep... because of a match that has been set up by Aziz on that day... (which eventually in the end turns out to be a dramatic one)


The actual match was to be played at 10 am.. but the field is crowded with 2 young teams,each with their own coaches, in addition of another foreign team ( indon players)... ... and what I doubtly feared was correct.. there was another game which is held on the same pitch...

Team Indon was in need of another 3 more players... Rizman, Me, Emi... join the team... and in total coincidence... we wore red which is similiar to Team Indon's jersey...

Cut things short... I scored the only goal for Team Indon.. a long free kick...lobbing pass the keeper..just like what Ronaldinho did to England's David Seaman..hmm somewhere there la..heh... but in the end we lost 1-6...

Yes. Played the whole game for team Indon... Me and Rizman...
we were short of breath... and along the way during that match.. Sani give us problem...


PART TWO

I'm starting to get annoyed with Sani's attitude and because of his unacceptable behaviour .. that leads to the shameful loss for the Indon Team... ( I pity them really)

So I confronted him... right in front of his face... and have a very stern conversation of his participation to the team... in fact almost all of them team members are talking about his mood change ... even one of the upfront players in my team.. decide to go back home right after the 1st half interval... but in the end I manage to get him back to the team after another good make sense conversation with Izzat..

Those who were involved had a really big argument... war of words were exchange... but it all came down to earth... which the main person, Sani, agreed to play again.. after walking out of the field leaving the goal unattended.... which Emi had to cover up for him...

By the time in the middle of 2nd half.. I was already aching on both of my calfs... but still I keep on going... and the score was still 1-4...

With the team rallied up... by me and Azhar... we slowly got the momentum going... then in the early 2nd half of the game... we got a penalty.. which I took the responsibility to convert the spot kick into the goal that we needed for...

and after that right away I signalled to Emi for substitution...I couldn't take it anymore...

After awhile... the team.. slowly fought back ... goal after goal after goal.. making us from 1-4 down.. to the score of 4-4.. keeping our unbeated record of friendly matches...

that was a great boost to the team after the game...

I feel proud of what I've did on that day.. a great acheivement to change the mindset of not only one ... but two players of ours...

It was an incredible feeling...

Sent a text message to the people who helped me out in rally out the team... especially Azhar.



if you that message meant to be for me...
I just couldn't say no...
well at least i'm grateful that you are..

A well and decent conversation we had on that day though.. :)



That will be all.
Dismissed.

-Khai-

Tatterred on my sleeve

open house starts today..
gonna be one hell of a event at school...
crowd... alot...
FYP by final students were amazing....
heh.


So you ain't talking to me either on the virtual world?

That will be all.
Dismissed.

-Khai-

THings.

Your birthday is soon..
No its not for any fuckn girl around that I know of..
My brother..

Happy birthday bro..

I'll try to think of something to give you.




That will be all.
Dismissed.



-Khai-

I should have gone first...

Tomorrow will be the date that my brother is being enlisted in National Service.
Police Force.
Actually I should be the one who should enter the NS life first...
But because of pursuing my diploma...

This will be my first and ever well-wishes to my brother after so long...

Good luck, bro...
Have a good posting..
Enjoy your Service to the country..
Police is a good way to start your life..




ignorance.still missing you.


-Khai-

New Year? Part 2

I sat down here ... right at the very same chair.. where I got my memories started...
Went out for light.. somehow my feelings were like can't be bothered if I got caught smoking red handed...
As I having my own time.. reminiscing those memories I had in 2008.. its just the same right now.. no different..

everything was quiet from where I was standing.. just that some foreign workers having their get together session .. glad that they are happy...

The trees are the same.. no change.
The wind as strong as it was the days before...
All seem as per normal like every other night...

But what comes to the state of my mind was rather easy but complicated to vanish..

People sing their hearts out on a brand New Year.. laughing , enjoying themselves.. good.. I didn't say it was bad... but to think of it.. my way of celebration - Prayers to the People of Palestine..
They are in danger..
They are under attack...
They always get killed the most..
For 60 over years.. the Israelies always win the war in killing people ... and not being condemned.

I should be out there..
But I'm not..

Together with you.. at the surroundings..
But not..

I guess my birthday there isn't any special one to celebrate with..

Same old shit.. same old shit.





that will be all.
Dismissed.




-Khai-