2012.

I came across my blog once again..
after 2-3 years... I've finally come back where it all started...
My inner voice.
At this very spot..
this very box that I'm typing...
All my emotions.. my expressions.. my feelings..
I let it off..
but with friction...
It rubs hard then knocking against two rocks..

I come to know that I'm very weak in terms of affection..
Very weak when comes to love situation...
I fall for insecurity almost like everytime when I get to know someone who I dear most..
It makes me look like a Paranoia.
On which .. the subject will find it irritated and later on in the stage.. will hate me.

How can I rectify this problem?
How can i rectify this disease of mine... ?
Is it normal..? Or its just me..?
Am i the only guy who shows true affection towards someone ?
Or is it just i'm plainly weak in terms of feelings..?

How can I desensitize myself so that I wont give in that/too much..
It definitely makes me feel hurt .. almost everytime..

Too much things to say in mind... too many things that has been growing and manipulating in my head..

For all the problems that has been created and evolved..
The things that has been set upon by everyday.. - the challenge.
Sometimes its too hard to bear.
Patience is the key to everything now..

Without realising it.. I'm actually not with them.

Shifted

I might have jump ship to another new site to have my say.. a better new way that is.
but I'll always come and drop by to this place to give a few say at least...

Will be at tumblr..
cry to me for the link...

if there's anyone reading it that is..




Dismissed.

that creation

Had a little wee hour session time ... shortly a few hours coming back home from work..

Recalled those sweet bitter memories of our songs the past times...

haha.. I realise I did quite a few notable licks and rhythms of some parts...

(*hmm .. nicely done.. )


and oh yearh.. Faz taught me a spanish rummmba chord..
that particular small chord...
makes me learn something new...
you know like.. " EUREKA! "

yearh..

Its like you just know on how to use the dvd player..
and when you figure out on how to press the "play" button..
You feel very happy... - Some analogy.


heh.


Dimissed.



Khairul

Representing..

Hmm.. what should I say... This is abit late for an entry.. but hell .. I'm gonna say about me "representing" SP in Taekwondo...



Actually it goes like this... I didn't really represent the school.. because I'm in the reserve squad..

and the fuck that I have to endure much more because I'm having this injury, just keep me much more insane... I don't know how long more till I recover.. ( God.. please recover me fast.!!)

All I could do is just be a sitting duck.. and the least i could do is to give my support to the team..

Well I did watched a couple of good fights down there...

Seriously it just makes me sooo eager to come down and fight again...






( In the bus.. on the way to NTU .. )






q

Well... there's something that can put up a smile on my face...
Looking back those years back ... when I'm still a toddler..

The Angelic-Devilish-Cute Period..

What I mean is..

when you're so quiet like an angel, people will still say you cute..
Even when you're the devil in disguise... there will also be people around saying you're a cute little devil...

Thats how the term comes about.. " The Angelic-Devilish-Cute Period "



End.



Dismissed.

Khairul

Gravity

Everytime i look over on her display picture..
I miss her deeply..
Everytime I look onto my web camera...
I think about her presence where I get to see her physical form..
If I can touch and feel her for just 5 minutes..
And say all the things that I wanted to say over the past days,weeks, months...
Let her feel my true love... my very very true love to her...
It will definitely be enough for me..

But obviously.. I will ask for more...


If i could drop a message in a bottle and being the most hopeful that she will get it..
the message I've been telling her all along...
Where she stands and lies in me...
That sacred feeling for just only that person..
And that person is her ...
And that 3 words I consistently tell her..
"I love you"..

Today

today is the day where i'll be off to the same place..
the same place where you said it once where its a horrible place to remember of..
Now i do share the same experience...
That very same place is where I work...
That whole area has part of us..
That whole place has its aura of us used to be in a situation...
Those good bad times...
Those smiles, laugh and anger...
Even those tears fell at the same environment...
No doubt its a sacred place between us...
But its just another fantastic place for people to travel...
But now I've feel the heaviness inside me.. to go through that realm of area...
Once I reach that place..
I know I'll be in a different world..
A world where I reminisce things about...
A world where I will say.. " Oh this is what I did over here... "
Tears start to appear...
I pull it back.. just to make my eyes red enough so that people will think I'm just awake from a
long journey ...
But in my heart...
In my soul...
There's always someone special that touches my heart..
And there's always drama upon it to make it an interesting book for us..

I'll be there not by my own transport which I usually escaped...
But now.. the same bus.
The same type of vehicle where I cried..
My own tears shed for someone who is already somehow, somewhat a big part in me..
who i deeply love ...
No it shall not be in vain...

It will be a whole different place now when I get there.
Peace yo.

it was a smooth journey..
I could compete..
But I fell right through the deeps of porthole..
With a setback that could cost my entire capability..
Please..
Dear God...
Recover me well..
=(